A Writer's Musing: Friendly as a Fist to the Face
|A young Katrina Estelle from Dusk into Light|
Though, that's not what this entry is truly about or if there's even a point to what I'm about to type.
No Rhyme or Reason to Feeling
I think not feeling as if I have a place in this world is why I try hard to find out who I am. Its one of the reasons why I love to create in some form. A drawing, a photo manipulation, or even a Daz3D render here or there. Writing is a form of art too. I've met so many talented, amazing authors both indie and published. They write for various reasons, none of them wrong or right. I'm lucky to get a chance to know them even just a little bit. But lately I've started getting too full of myself by thinking that I might belong with other indie writers.When I honestly don't.
Why do I try to write? I don't know if there's an answer to that question. For myself, I think I mostly want someone out there to know that I exist. To use it as another outlet that helps me cope with a lot of stuff that's happened in my life. Difficulties that have to be met head on otherwise it overwhelms you completely. You know, drab heavy stuff that no one likes to read so I'll move on from there.
|Sword Wraith. Hm, I need to model a more darker sword next time|
|Acalia Iztchel, my latina little red riding hood|
Now I keep thinking, write faster and better. No more detailed fight scenes that take long chapters. No more over the top magic or whimsy that should belong in an anime. Grow up, mature that prose. It just feels so different. Am I on the right path? After all, I'm just a nobody trying to figure out how to make my own mark in this world. But it does seem like I'm trying hard to change everything about me so I can fit in better. Hunh, kinda like being in junior high all over again.
Who knows, but I'll probably keep trying until I either stop deluding myself or eventually get it right. Though these days I think though the latter is wishful thinking. If Acalia was real, she'd most likely smile at me and say: "You're such a puppy." And I'd probably agree.
- Wendy May